Twinemies
by J.F. Treml
Summary: A Judgement Day Harry Potter Challenge Entry on the subject of frenemies. Here, Max struggles with his relationship with his twin, Hamish. This vignette is set during The Chamber of Secrets just as Professor Lockhart displays his glorious ineptitude as a wizard to the whole school during a dueling club session with Professor Snape.


"Of course I want him to do well."

"Then what's your problem?" asked Megan. Her condemning look struck Maxwell firmly and made him even more tense.

"Well…" he said, as his posture took on the look of a boy several years younger. He dug his hands deep in the pockets of his trousers and hunched himself over to gaze down to his feet. He was, in fact third year, but he looked no older than a shy first year being lectured by his parents. "It's just…," and fumbling about looking for the right words, he completed the image by kicking absently at a pebble on the cobblestones.

"Spit it out, then!"

"Well… It's just that everything seems to go his way so effortlessly," he let out a harrumph and went back to kicking stones. "It feels unfair, is all."

"You know there's a word for that? They call it _Shadenfreunde_."

"Who does? It sounds like something the Durmstrang wizards say."

"Sure, I guess. Maybe Swedish or something. I don't know, but it means that you're happy to see other people fail." Then, she added, "It's not nice. Even more so when it's about your brother."

"Look, I know! I'm not proud of it. I just wish…"

"What?"

"Well, that something would go my way for a change. Or at least not go his." He swallowed the last words, but not so much that Megan couldn't hear them. Despite the fact that Max was a year ahead of Megan, they shared several classes because he was pulled from school last year over a horrifying bout of Spattergroit.

She shifted her posture and relaxed a bit. "At least you're being honest now," she put a hand on his shoulder. "What do you mean? What's got you feeling down then?"

"Can we just not talk about this anymore?! I'm sick of it. I said it, and I'm sorry, but it's just how I feel. -You're the one who asked."

"I asked, 'How are you?' I didn't expect you to really tell me. I just thought you'd say, 'fine,' and we could walk together."

"Oh." Maxwell was swallowing his words again, but he looked up now, and said, "Well, let's go then."

The halls were congested with students streaming to the new Dueling Club that the school had set up. "Nothing motivates the masses like fear of the unknown, eh?" said Megan as she was was smashed up against the other Hufflepuffs, Ernie MacMillan, Susan Bones, and Hannah Abbot, as they funneled into the Great Hall. Maxwell got separated from his friends by a group of Ravenclaws, but was not far behind. He could see his brother had come in with the other Ravenclaws, and saw Hannah's eyes light up when she saw him too.

Max and Hamish were two of a very small number of family members who were split up by the sorting hat, Max into Hufflepuff, and Hamish into Ravenclaw. He thought it was a godsend when it happened, keeping them apart might allow Max to grow into his own person rather than just being the younger (by seven minutes) twin. The 'runner up' child. Their dad, a Muggle scientist had called him 'the control subject' referring to his work in psychology where twins were excellent subjects for human experiments because of their genetic identity.

Max shook the thought from his head and pushed through the door to the great hall. Inside, he steered clear of the crowd and beelined for a side wall where he could blend in with the rest of the shadows.

Soon, he forgot his bitterness toward his brother and tried to point his head toward Professor Lockhart who seemed to be the only adult in the room, while his eyes peered longingly at Hannah, who was standing with Susan and Megan near the Professor. Max had been crushing on Hannah since their train ride in this year and time stopped and the world melted away while his eyes were on her. He strained to eavesdrop on their conversation without being completely obvious.

"It's OK to be scared, then?" he could hear Hannah ask.

"Of course it's OK. We're all scared. Just take a deep breathe and remember that you're here to learn magic - you love this stuff! Remember?"

"Well, that - and because I don't want to be turned to stone." Max could see a shiver go down Hannah's spine until Hamish's hand came out of nowhere and steadied her.

 _Of course it's Hamish! Hannah apparently saw right though Maxwell, but not through Hamish - his twin brother! How was that even possible?,_ he thought, as he watched his brother's hand stroking her long, beautiful hair. _Why couldn't he hang out with students in his own year? It's as if he can't possibly miss an opportunity to take something else from me._

"Right. Maybe don't think about that part, Han." Hamish sounded much more sure than Maxwell knew he felt. He knew he had doubts, but he didn't show it on the outside. Outside, he was cool as a cucumber - at least in front of Hannah. But Max knew that Hamish was at least afraid of one thing. They had both heard that the monster in the chamber of secrets was a giant snake. Hamish hated snakes.

Students were flocking around Professor Lockhart now and the noise made it impossible for Max to hear any more of their conversation. Maxwell hung back, watching. It was mostly the girls, he saw, that made up the throng closest to the Professor. He could almost see the stars in their eyes as they followed his every step, almost as if they were … charmed.

"Charmed." The words formed on his lips, but only a whisper escaped.

"What's that, Maxwell?" An unmistakable voice hissed behind him.

"Professor Snape!?" he said as he whirled around on his heel.

The professor was leaned against the sill of a blackened window. "I said,…'What's that, Maxwell?'" he repeated in an exaggeratedly slow voice. "Or, is it Hamish? I really can't tell in this light. Who are you, boy?"

 _This was exactly what he had been talking about! Snape knew. He knew he was Maxwell, but he was rubbing it in that they were identical._

"Oh no, it must be Maxwell. There's Hamish, with that pretty girl."

 _For crying out loud._

"Oh yes, it's Hannah Abbot. I see now."

"Gather round, gather round! Can everyone see me? Can you all hear me? Excellent!" Lockhart had taken to the gold stage set up on one side of the Great Hall and was delighting in the attention it afforded him.

Max groaned, and was surprised to hear his groan was echoed from just behind him as Snape peeled himself from the wall and approached the side of the stage.

"Let me introduce my assistant, Professor Snape," said Lockhart. And just then, Maxwell let go of the hate that was welling in him for Snape.

 _Anyone who dislikes Professor Lockhart that much can't be_ all _bad._

 _Dueling Club is quite possibly the most fascinating thing I've seen in a long time_ , thought Max. Lockhart was a bore and hateful, as ever, but Snape was actually becoming his hero as he dealt blow after devastating blow to Lockhart, casually destroying him before an audience. Maxwell imagined himself in Snape's place blasting spell upon spell at Hamish, but then felt a pang of guilt. If he could see a good side to Snape, then anything was possible. After all, Max loved Hamish - even if he didn't like him that often.

At one point he even caught Snape casting ' _Expelliarmus,_ ' a spell he had never heard before, but was obviously of great utility. Then, something even more interesting happened, Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy were brought onstage and lined up against one another for a practice duel.

Max moved forward to get a better look and just as he sidled up next to his Hufflepuff friends, a snake appeared suddenly in front of them. It reared up and about to strike Justin - until … A strange hiss came from Potter's mouth. Abruptly, the snake peered back at Harry and dropped to the ground. A moment later, and the snake was vaporized by Snape and nothing was left but a wisp of black smoke.

"What do you think you're playing at?" Justin's voice was sharp as a knife and aimed directly at Potter. Then, just as abruptly as the snake had quit Justin, Justin quit Potter, and stormed out of the room.

The room exploded into anarchy - except for Hamish, Maxwell noticed, he pitched over oddly and shuffled backwards to the doors. When he got to them, he turned and fled the room. But before he escaped, Maxwell saw that the entire seat of his pants was dripping wet.

In the heat of the moment Max had forgotten, but Hamish was possessed by a staggeringly powerful Ophidiophobia, or fear of snakes. So bad, that he had just lost control of his bladder while in a crowd of friends

When he looked back toward the Hufflepuff contingent, he saw Susan and Hannah giggling wildly as they backed away from a small puddle on the floor.

"Egad! A snake!" they laughed viciously. "Run!"

"Hush up you two!" He was just as surprised as they were by the words coming from his mouth, but before he could think about it he sprinted off to his brother.

Hamish was devastated, of course, and practically hysterical when Max found him.

"I can't believe it," he said. "Right in front of Hannah! How can I ever show my face again?"

"I'm sure it'll be alright. They probably didn't even notice," Max lied. But it was a good lie. One that Hamish needed to hear right now - even if he found out later that it wasn't true. "There was _**a lot**_ going on right then. You weren't exactly center stage."

"I hope you're right, Max. Thanks." A look of true sincerity showed on Hamish's face as he said, "You're the best, little brother."

Later than night, in the library, Max was again with his friends studying in the library while Ernie and Hannah went on endlessly about the snake incident and how Malfoy was base - even for a Slytherin. And hadn't Snape just whispered some instruction to him just before he conjured the snake?

Finally, Ernie turned to Max and said, "And what was that from you? I've never known you to rush to your brother's defense so quickly."

Maxwell could feel all his friends' eyes upon him, especially Hannah's. And when he spoke, he had to look directly at Ernie so he didn't get distracted by her attention.

"It's not his fault, you know. He's never liked snakes, but a couple years ago we were at this Muggle Zoo having a day with our mom's family - you see they're all muggles - and he got the scare of his life. We were having a picnic lunch in a park- area of the zoo that overlooked the reptile house. We had a blanket down and as the food was all coming out, Hamish and I laid on our backs watching the clouds go by when. Suddenly there was a commotion down the hill. Mom and her sister stood up to get a better look, but Hamish and I weren't having it. We were playing 'spot the dragon' in the clouds - that was a game we made up after we found out that we could 'help' the clouds assume different shapes for a second. I had just made a long Chinese dragon appear when this giant Boa Constrictor plows straight through our picnic and stops, just for a second smack on top of Hamish! He was completely pinned down."

Max took a breath and licked his lips, "Really, it was just a second or two, but Hamish swears to this day that it was minutes that the snake held him there, hissing in his ear. And that's it. He's been Ophidiophobic ever since."

"Oh, that's so sad," said Susan.

"Poor Hamish," said Hannah, "I should really go and talk to him."

Before he knew it, Max was surrounded by empty chairs. Only Megan was left reading a book and taking notes for a research project. "So, how did it feel?"

"How did _what_ feel?" asked Max.

"Being the top twin?" she said. "No one was going to be able to even look at Hamish without laughing. But you saved him. How does that feel?"

Maxwell looked around at the empty seats about him. "Alone. It makes me feel alone."

"But good," he added, after just a second.


End file.
